When Things Don’t Go To Plan

You may have read in my newsletter, or seen on Facebook and Twitter that I recently lost my almost-95-year-old grandmother. She hadn’t been well since February this year and we had been preparing for her passing since then.

Of course when she did finally pass, it was still a bit of shock and upsetting. Two weeks ago I was at her funeral saying goodbye to her, although I do believe she is still with me and will always be in my heart.

With these recent events, and being away for three out of the past five weeks, certain things have been on hold. Plans I’d made, art I’d been wanting to create, blog posts I’d been wanting to write, etc, all had to be put on the back-burner.

In the past, this would have stressed me out and worried me, but I’ve become so much more relaxed and trusting that everything turns out okay, that it hasn’t been a problem. What a long way I’ve come!

It’s also been really important to look after myself and to take time off to spend it with family, which has been lovely. It reminds me of what I value and what I want to have in my life.

stunning flowers in honour of my grandma

I did manage to go to the States again and attend a business coaching retreat in Asheville, North Carolina. That was so much fun! Also pretty intense, three days of working on my business (and also looking at my overall life) and digging deep to find the answers, solutions and clarity to my questions and challenges. It was also a place to celebrate and connect with fellow entrepreneurs who are on the same business coaching programme run by Christine Kane – celebrating how much I’ve achieved since I was there last time in March 2015. It was really cool to reflect on that!

You can read about a previous Asheville adventure here and I plan on writing about this time as well.

Lastly, I had planned on celebrating my business’ one year anniversary with some kind of “do” to mark the occasion, but to be honest I feel I still need to take it easy and take care of myself.

I thought I was feeling okay again but grief is something that comes in waves. I’d have a few “good” days, then suddenly I’d be overcome with emotion and wonder where it was coming from. Instead of fighting it, repressing it or denying it, I allow those strong emotions to pass through me. I sit with them, and I honour my experience. It’s my process right now.

Re-committing to my daily creative practice helps me at this time, though sometimes I can’t even manage that. I just have to let it all pass. I am still processing the passing of Joy – a dear friend, mentor and spiritual teacher – from earlier this year. So it’s back to mini, baby, tiny, weenie steps every day and accepting as well as trusting that it’s okay this way right now.

I also remember to reach out to my “support team”, including my family, friends and fellow entrepreneurs from the business coaching programme and all my coaches, and their love, hugs and positive energy uplifts me. I am grateful and thankful for such a wonderful tribe!

How do you deal with strong emotions like grief? Do you surround yourself with a support team to help you through whatever you’re going through?

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